Postpartum is something most mum’s go through, article’s would say it’s normal to go through this, with all physical and hormone changes, new baby in the house, new responsibilities, and new journey of breastfeeding, sleeping, feeding, loving, coping emotionally and physically, and I could go on and on and on…
Honestly I did not read much about it in my first pregnancy, I knew women could have baby blues or a bit of depression but frankly speaking I was too nervous about having a new born and worried about the delivery of the baby more than worrying about me or how I will be dealing with a new baby at home.
Though both deliveries were normal and done with no Epidural (and I do not encourage this at all) I was lucky that my first delivery can be considered easy. I had my mom and my husband next to me through it all, very beautiful with amazing, understanding, calm medical crew.
I was very happy and emotionally happy that the baby arrived, it was slow motion of pain fading away, and a baby coming my way, held by the doctor, I could only see the back of his head, thinking “is this it? Are we done?” I cannot wait to see his face, touch him so I would feel the magic happen, few seconds felt like minutes, then the baby was on my chest as I requested “skin to skin” right after delivery. he was such a potato just like all new born’s, puffy, crying, and there was no magic yet.
In the hospital nurses and mom changed his diapers, and I was breastfeeding all the time, and I didn’t mind, I really wanted to breastfeed him, and it was the time where we bonded.
My first Postpartum is me obsessing about Karim and make sure he is breathing, and I’m sure most moms understands when I say I would wake up freaked out, then make sure he is still breathing and go back to sleep, if he moves in his sleep I would hold him and feed him even if he’s not hungry. however I didn’t change his diapers the first 6 days as I was afraid I would break him.
I was staying at mom’s the first week, had everyone around me to help and I never admit that I didn’t change his diapers, so I thought to myself ” I’m his mom, and I will go home tomorrow and no one will be there, I might as well start changing his diapers” and while holding him to wash him he coughed, and I thought maybe I held him wrong, maybe he is not breathing, and I became the worst mom ever in my own eyes, I wasn’t sure I will be able to do it, I doubted myself, my abilities, and everything around me.
I started doubting myself in everything I do, and did not listen to the mother in me for one second, whatever advice I would get, I would do it and listen to it, and today I go back in time and most of the advice’s I received were wrong. Cause breast pumping does not decrease your milk supply, in fact it increase it. and no the baby will not have diarrhea if you breastfeed him when you are feeling hot, and no the baby is not cold all the time, and if he throw-up I SHOULDN’T FLIP HIS HEAD DOWN, . how the f*** did I listen to such advice’s while my gut actually told me some advice’s were wrong, why didn’t I use my brain. I shouldn’t have doubted myself in the first place, few months later I was still the worst mom ever for listening to such advice’s.
but I remember hugging him feeling like only me and him knew how hard it was and we finally survived together, we were one team since then. Seeing the baby for the first time did not do any magic, but ooh cuddling makes lotsa magic, I fall in love with Karim everyday til today and I will continue to fall in love with him every day forward.
I had to put an end to my mom guilt, and people’s opinion’s, I learned how to filter advice’s and opinions, read, and only do what makes me and my baby comfortable.
MY Advice’s to you if you are a new mom:
- Understand that you will go through a lot in the beginning, and that every thing will be okay eventually, “It’s just a phase”
- expect a lack of sleeping and decide to enjoy the nights cuddling with the baby, it makes a lot of difference.
- Always share your thoughts with your partner, it will help him understand you better, and help you better.
- As a new mom every one will want to share their journey and advice’s, YOUR JOURNEY IS A DIFFERENT JOURNEY, filter all advice’s, read before you act if you are not sure what you are doing.
- Trust your “Mom Gut feeling”
- Let your baby lead sometimes, he will show the way some how